mind fusion

i feel alone
i like this feeling sometimes.
but when i dont know where you are
what you are doing,
when an idea of you having fun
somewhere with someone
i feel like i m useless.
that is not i dont want you
to be happy
but i cant help
the pain of being so far
i love to love you
but i hate to be refused
like i did nothing confused
never had something wrong to you
but never had your hands
strickly holding mine through

i m missing you
and i have a fiery telling me
that you miss me too
i hope i wasnt me
and i hope i havent known you
but i know you
and it is me
and i love you
but you dont ..

writing what i had in my mind
nothing done to make it art
just a very silly mind emptying
i m so creepy i know
ok i stopped blog

My music producing disappointment

After all those years I have made my own albums at the end. Because i always buy or download an album and i generally like 30% of the songs of that. Actually it is 70% lose economically unused part.

So i decided to make my own albums which i have satisfaction of 100 % . There are 3 i can publish now but after a hard work i can publish 20 more in a day:) thank god i dont need musicians or studios to make an album..

Tribute to Breeze...

This is the first album i made for the spring season.. it is actually like a best of or gold ballads..



This is the second album that i made for the Italian songs.. there are lots of NEK songs in it but it has a reason you should believe me:)

And this last one is for the spanish songs.. They are not the best Spanish songs but you already know i have a reason to put them together:)


As it is clear sometimes however you spend a great effort, that wont bring you joy or happiness. This is kind of a destiny joke or a lifetime rule. You put a great effort, patience, and passion but it wouldn't work. At the end i had my albums done and sold only one. Actually the target achieved but the one who bought my albums didnt praise for that even once. .

my music producing then turned into a disappointment and i just have a memorial archieve which makes me melancolic when i listen them..

life is unfair and you never get to learn it. So dont worry or be fancy about learning this rule. You wont be able to........

P.S : All these album covers are made individually and havent ever used commercially.

Knidos - Datca

Knidos antik kenti Turkiye'nin guneybatidaki en uc noktasinda bulunuyor. Datça'dan 25 km kadar otede bir burunda bulunan antik kent antik cagda çiplak Afrodit heykeliyle meshurmus. Oyle ki diger sehirlerden bu heykeli gormeye gelirmis insanlar. Dunya'daki ilk ciplak tanrica heykelide oldukca ilgi cekici olsa gerek o zamanlar. Gunumzde bu heykel hala bulunamamis. Bir donem Amerika'li arkeologlar tarafindan arastirilan bolge daha sonra Turk arkeologlara birakilmis.

The ancient city "Knidos" is at the farest southwest part of the Turkey. It is a semi-island which is 25 km far from Datca. This city was said to be famous of first nude statue of Aphrodite in the ancient era. That statue is so famous that all people from other cities are used to come to see the nude beauty of the marble Aphrodite:) That statue hasn't been found yet although there are digging researches. American archeologist used to work at the area but now Turkish archeologist are continuing the research.

Şaraplarıyla ünlü Knidos bilim ve sanatta da ileri bir kentti. Tarihin büyük astronomi ve matematik bilimcisi Eudoksos ve ünlü ressam Polygnotos burada yaşadı

Knidos was used to be famous with its wines but also science and art was at a good level at the city. One of the most famous astronomist and mathematician Eudokos and a famous painter Polygnotos were lived in this city.

Bu tarihi sehre ailem ve kuzenlerimle gittim. Amacimiz hem tarihi bir sehrin kalintilarini gezmek hemde bir yanindan Akdenizi diger yanindan Ege denizini gorebildiginiz bu burnu gormek ve her iki denizde bir kac dakika arayla yuzebilmekti. Manzaranin guzelligine diyecek tek kelimemiz yok ama kiyidan denize girmek pek te ayni guzellikte degildi. Yosunlarla kapli deniz istedigimiz keyfi vermekten uzak kaldi. Ancak bir ara iskeleden o tertemiz denize atlamak biraz olsun oraya kadar gitmis olmamizin guzel yani oldu.

Milli park ve muze olarak tanimlanan bu kalinti alanina giris ucreti 10 YTL. Ancak ogrenci, ogretmen ve emekliler bu ucretten muaf tutulmus. Park icerisinde yemek yiyebileceginiz ve icecek alabileceginiz bir restoran disinda hicbir yer yok. ayrica Knidos yolu da virajlar ve bozuk satihlarla dolu dar bir yol oldugundan cok konforlu degil. Ancak yol kenarinda durup bakmak isteyeceginizessiz manzaralar ve agaclardan keciboynuzu (harnup) koparip tadina bakma imkaniniz var.

Sonunda bu guzel manzara esliginde buradan ayrilarak yuzmek istiyorum diyerek basimizin etini yiyen kuzenim icin Datca'ya donduk.

Datca yine az el degmis turistik beldelerimizden biri.. Bence bu avantajini uzak olusundan, yolunun virajli olusundan ve buraya gelmek icin gokova marmaris gibi daha populer tatil merkezlerinin icinden gecmek durumunda olusu sayesinde korumakta.

Son derece sakin bir tatil beldesi olan Datca emsallerine gore biraz daha da ucuz. Unlu sair CanYucel ve onun bu sehre aski sayesinde biraz daha unlenmis olmasi da bir gercek. Denizi son derece temiz ve kumu cok guzel. ayrica aksam satlerinde restoranlari kumsala tasarak cok degisik bir keyif veriyor.

I am the muffin man...

eFrom childhood to nowadays i have always loved muffins.. cream, marmelade, nuts, lemon, fruits, cocoa, etc.. every kind of muffins are welcome to my taste:) But i recognized that i have never make my own muffin.. That made me a little sad because i have always said that i am good at cooking..
Then i just started to search for receipts from internet and i was thinking to start with a simple one. then i found my recipe. and started to prepare my own muffin.. yummy!!!!

Unfortunately i forgot to take pics when i preare the flour but i will write my recipe here that would help:P Here is the;

ingredients (for 8 muffins)
70 g of butter
130 g of sugar
200 ml milk
250 g of flour
1 pck baking powder
1 pck baking soda
1 pck vanilla
2 eggs
a pinch of cocoa
100 g hazel nuts.

after baking to decorate
some nutella (depends on how much you want)
some balck berry jel
coconut powder

Preparation
Mix vanilla baking powder and soda int oflour and add sugar.
In an other cup mix the eggs, milk and melted butter.
then add the second mixture in first.
here is the hint .. dont mix too much if yu want good muffins.
then add the hazelnuts inside the mixture
pour it into muffin tray.
cook at 200°C about 13-18 minutes.

after they are cooked and cooled. put some nutella on them and then add some coconut powder and finally blackberry jel on them..


they were delicious:P

Ozgul's Departure...

Sometimes we don't even think somebody is leaving away from our lives till he or she goes away. We always think that our relationship will end forever. That is why we continuously postpone to do something together, share the time and the memories. But when the day comes, we unfortunately understand that we had a mistake to postpone to be together..

Departure of Ozgul is such a story for most of us. We all think that we would have more time together when she was around Izmir. Now she is leaving Izmir and going to settle at Bursa. We all can not say that would be bad for her of course but again we are some kind of upset. It is not for her leaving actualy as i mentioned upwards it is the regret of spending less time then we could with her.

Now she is going to work at Bosch at Bursa and we all hope she will be succesful and happy there. Best wishes for you Ozgul............

Hundered things that i want to do before i die.

Something i believe that i should do before i quit breathing. I think everybody does such a list or a bunch of dreamings or plans. But most of them dont make a list such as i do. now here is the list. Actually i havent got 100 things at the moment but i will continue adding whenever something comes to my mind. Numbers are not sequential or ordered in the importance for me.

Now i have only 30 of them but i ll continue :))))

Let me start then:)



1-I should drive a Ferrari

2-I should eat mussel (midye) and kokorec (already ate)

3-I should go to Sumela Manastir in Trabzon.

4-I should go for a long sea trip.

5-I should play poker in Las Vegas

6-I want to take a cooking course in France

7-I have to watch a Fifa World Cup final game.

8-I should be at the city which olympic games occurs.

9-I should go to see New Zelland

10- I want to learn how to speak Russian


11-I want to direct a short movie.(i tried but couldnt finished)

12-I will definitely buy a VolksWagen 1303 Beetle

13-I want to take my son/daughter/nephews/nices to their first BJK match.

14-I want to watch a game at NeuCamp Stadium

15-I want to watch a English Premier League Match

16-I want to watch Godfather movie series without a break

17-I want to go to middle asia and drink Kimiz in an authentic tent.

18-I should go to Nepal.

19-I want to fire fireworks.

20-I want to drive a long vehicle.

21-I want to see a whale in the sea.

22-I want to make a mix to a song profesionally.

23-I should have an animal at my home.

24-I want to grow vegetables in my garden.

25-I want to have kids.

26-I want to have a Harley Davidson

27-I want to fish at the ocean.

28-I want to have a pair of red nickers.

29-I want to sleep 24 hours at least once.

30-I want to get married before i am 30.

Diary or blog?

I have seen this blog is turning into a diary these days. I had no expectations of being read but it is again doesn't seem right to write this way. Therefore i decided to write all those things about my mental conflicts and troubles in a generalized way. So it won't be a diary anmore and i will continue writing what i want.. Am i too clever? yeah i think i am:))))))

acikama / information / informazione

Bu blogu takip eden oldugunu dusunmuyorum ama yinede boyle bir bilgi vermek istedim. Bundan boyle bazen ingilizce bazen turkce bazende italyanca yazacagim. Bu arada baska bir dili de yazacak kadar ogrenirsem onu kullanarak ta yazarim herhalde. Bu kadar dil biliyorum gosterisinden ziyade kazanimlarimi unutmamak icin yaptigim birsey.
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I dont think anyone keeps reading this blog but i again wanted to share information about this blog. From now on i will write sometimes in turkish sometimes in english and sometimes in italian. and by the way i guess if i would learn another language enough to write i will use that language to write too. This is not to show that how much language i can speak but it is to use what i learned and prevent myself to forget them in the time.
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Non penso che qualcuno legga quel blog continuamente però io ancora voglio informarvi su quel blog. D'ora in avanti scriverò talvolta in ingilese talvolta in italiano ed alcuna volta in turco. Se imparessi un altra lingua che basterebbe a scrivere, scriverebbero anche con la nuova. Questa non è per farvi vedere che io posso parlare così motle lingue ma è per servirmi quella che io ho imparato e anche non dimenticarlo.

no mans land

Is there somewhere really no man's land? If there is a place like that i would love to be there. i know there wont be family, friends or the most important people in your life with you. But didn't we born alone and wont we die in a perfect loneliness?

I am not sure if we can stay alone just between those two end. People needs air to respirate and food to feed themselves and also water to drink basicly. But people needs to be socialized. People need to talk , need to express themselves as well.

And after all i am a person in this society. Therefore i need people around me. and love decides who will be with you in the life. Consider everyone is a driver in the world and has their own buses. You can go in different ways, you can stop anywhere you want, and you can bring anyone in your bus. Sometimes u drive with long line of buses sometimes u cant see any other vehicle around you. sometimes you drive on a highway but sometimes you drive on a larger footpath. like the life we live, sometimes everything is easy and the other times it is hard to survive. sometimes you have lots of people around you and sometimes you feel dark deepness of loneliness.

If i am a bus driver on my own way to end, i prefer to have lots of passengers who is going same destination with me and who is supporting me in this way. But sometimes someone doesnt like to be with you in this trip and you can do nothing to get them into your bus.

Sometime words doesn't have enough power to make people believe. Acts are more important then what u said after. Regret is not the medicine that cure your mistakes and the worst feeling is usually that u can't do anything but only regret.

And it is not easy to pass through like it is said in Latin proverb. "octa est fabula" which means the game has been played and over.

Everybody has a one way ticket. but some has double seat full with the most important person he thinks in the world. some has the seat has already been emptied and filled with regret.